Whether you are a single mom or a single dad or even if you are a mixed house or blended house I should say, so we all keep our stremidies intact lol or both parents in the house. We all believe we are doing it right, but little do we know what the definition of right is. “RIGHT” for you might be very different than “RIGHT” for me or someone else. The fact is that we all as humans do one of two things. We either end up doing exactly what our parents or guardians did to us or we make sure we do exactly the opposite.
Now, the point of this is because our mind is wired and set that way to continue or repeat the cycle of life. We do have some that have flown away from this or at least tried to form their own guide or are trying with all their might to brake that cycle. I like to think that I belong to that bunch, the “Rebel Bunch” haha, if we want to name it, because why not now-a-days we have names and labels for everything and anything. Now, now, don’t eat me alive that will be a subject for another time.
I don’t know who else is in the same boat as me, but I definitely do not want to repeat my parents mistakes and at the same time I don’t fully believe in gentle parenting. I just don’t think it’s for every child in this world. There is a saying “In order for the world to be “The World” we need diversity and people of all kinds, believes and sizes”. How boring would this world be if we all loved the same, looked the same, acted the same, or even spoke the same way. Let’s remember that we don’t have to agree with each other, we just have to have the respect or maturity to respect one another.
I am a mom of three beautiful girls and by all means they are far from perfect haha very far. Now for all the youngsters or does not in parenthood station yet, lets clear up the million dollar question; do I love them the same no, do I love one more than another no, do I treat them the same GOD NO hahahaha, do I implement the same parenting style or rules, nope. Sorry to burst some of your bubbles, but the truth is that it is IMPOSSIBLE to use the same techniques, rules, teaching styles or even punishments. A
ll three of them came out of the same mix (same mom and dad), now lets keep in mind that according to science all humans need 46 chromosomes to be develop into humans. These are broken down into heaven half’s 23 come from mom and 23 come from the dad, following so far, sooooo even if you are a little human coming out of these same two humans with 46 chromosomes each that means that 92 chromosomes will go into the dance floor and you will come out with 46, meaning a whole lot of different equations can be formed and none of them would look, act, feel, process or develop the same way. This is just a very long way of telling you WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT!!! I will. Be relating experiences, adventures, tortures, and numerous different situations some from me and my girls, some from friends and other family members. It could be something we are going through, or something that could have happened or a story from one of my girls friends. Obviously I will not telling you the protagonist names or specific details because we want to keep the privacy and let’s say a little suspense :).
The purpose of this blog is for me to bent, for different. Senecrious to be brought to light in hopes that it might shine some light into your situation or at least maybe make you understand someone else’s perspective or view as to why they, he or she acted that way or responded which ever way to whichever situation. As mentioned before my daughters are far from perfect and so is my parenting skills, we are all learning and growing. together. I can tell you this I have one diagnosed with ADHD, generalized anxiety and I believe in the spectrum but not diagnosed yet. Another one that feels neglected, do to all the extra attention that the neurodivergent child needs and gets and I have my little one that still seeks for attention and we in the house are to tired sometimes to give and she lashes out or misbehaves sometimes just to make herself seen and heard while. Also having some underlining behavioral problems herself.
It is beyond tiring and difficult at times requiring lots of patience and breathing exercises. Never forgetting that they look up to you to me to mom and dad and they will follow more what you do than what you say. Leading by example is not the only way, but most of the time it’s the best way. Especially for the neurodivergent kids that don’t see a gray area they see facts, white and black. No deviation, no adjustment, no excuses, thought sometime if not most of the time does adjustments or deviations are mainly made to adjust them. I hope you enjoy my post and can get some closure, easy or relieve from my experiences and maybe even learn from my mistakes.
With love and respect always,
Beatriz
Life Happens 